Life Renovations

Now starring...

     How often do we find ourselves caught up in what someone else thinks of us, how someone else will feel about our actions, or romanticizing another's situation or life?

    From what I hear from clients, it happens more often than any of us would care to admit.  And what’s even more, the energy dedicated to wondering, worrying, and being fearful about others’ perceptions of us and our actions is taking away from the energy we could be putting into our own power and strength.   

  Yeah, how 'bout them apples! (just a little reference to a scene from the fabulous movie, GoodwillHunting)

    What I am saying is that when it is spelled out, it makes sense and seems logical that we should value our own opinions and choices above others.  Yet, it can be excruciatingly difficult to apply logic when we are caught up in this fear based thinking.  How do we break free from seeing our lives in this limiting way?

    Let’s examine the moment when we get trapped into this way of thinking.  What is going on?  Often, we are imagining a situation in which we acted a certain way that we perceive could be viewed questionably or someone offered a comment to us that seemed like they were judging us and so we scour our memories for what we could have done to trigger their statement.  Or sometimes, we get caught up daydreaming about how much easier some else's life is in comparison to ours.  But no matter what the specifics of the particular moment are, the common thread in these scenarios is that unfortunately, we are taking a big leap away from our own center and we allow someone to step into the spotlight of our focus. 

    By doing this, we allow someone else’s ideas, perceptions, and discernment to become the center of our thinking.  How can we maintain balance in our lives and feel centered when we’ve put someone else in the starring role?  I’d like to introduce the idea;  Each of us is the star of our own movie.  We are NOT the supporting actor or actress, we are NOT the antagonist and most importantly we are NOT an extra.  We are the ones who deserve to be the star, the one in the spotlight, the name in big lights!    

    Now, how ‘bout them apples!

    Two questions to ponder:

  *        What shift happens in our perception when we view our lives this way? 

  *        What would we be doing or thinking differently if we stopped viewing ourselves as a co-star or a secondary role? 

 
   Chances are we’d feel a bit freer and have more of a bounce in our step when we open ourselves to the idea of how important we are in our own lives.  By kicking our fear out of the spotlight, we get to step in and bask in the glow of how valuable we are. To help us practice our academy awards speech, the words of Marianne Williamson offer words of tremendous wisdom.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God*.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

* Please use what terms works for you meaning God.  Substitute whatever term represents you feeling connected to Life at its fullest.

Enjoy being the star of your movie! 

How it all began...

Why the name "Life Renovations"?   That's an easy one.

         Four years ago, my husband and I bought an old colonial house near the river in a coastal
Maine town.  A fixer-upper.  A term that still has me in awe and slight bewilderment four years later. No one tells you that the "fixing up" process has just as much to do with "tearing down"  as it does with the building and fixing. 

          One must tear down expectations of time, design, and ability.  One must be comfortable with change and the unexpected.  One must be prepared to challenge one's own vision for what was to happen for the actuality of what is happening.   One must be willing to completely give up in order to completely succeed.
         So, we bought a fixer upper and tore apart our life.  And in tearing apart our life, we built a better vision for our present lives than I could have seen before.  We did not simply "fix up" this house or our life, but we created a new home and additionally, we created a new vision for our life.   In fixing the house up to the dream we envisioned, we had to tear down our expectations and  re-create our vision from a new, centered, stripped down place. How valuable and incredible! 

        And at times challenging. This blog is meant to explore these ideas about transforming challenges into opportunities for growth through the metaphor of "renovating" our lives.   I hope you come back and enjoy the process as this blog develops.