Enjoying the ride of NOW!

 Many times a day I hear people use words like “stressed”, “crunched for time”, and “maxxed out”. Sometimes, I am one of those people using those words. It is a pretty easy thing to do as our society promotes these feelings as representing accomplishment and productivity. It appears that being calm, relaxed, and joyful are words that indicate we aren’t really going anywhere or accomplishing anything. Yet, as we all know, feeling stressed and overwhelmed can greatly reduce our potential to get things done. And these feelings definitely affect our ability to enjoy the process of doing our work.

Tom Volkar of Delightful Work asked me what I was able to “juice” from my recent retreat with Two Roads. One concept I gained further insight into is the importance of living what life is presenting to us right now rather than living for what happens after this moment.

So often, I think we are encouraged to have the mentality of “grin and bear it” when going through a busy, challenging, or stressful time in our lives.  I liken this to closing our eyes on a roller coaster out of fear of what is about to come our way. Once we are on the ride, we are strapped in for a loopy-dee-doo, a downhill run, or whatever else the roller coaster ride has in store for us-there’s no getting out of it. We can either open our eyes and take in the thrill of the speed, excitement, and uncertainty or we can close our eyes, hunch our shoulders in nervous anticipation, and clench our teeth in a pained smile. The latter “Grin and Bear It” roller coaster rider is waiting for it all to be over rather than taking in the experience openly.

I want to acknowledge that some life experiences are so difficult and painful that developing a coping mechanism to endure them can prove helpful, however, all too often these coping techniques become part of our modus operandi long after the difficult time has passed.

How do we break free into a new pattern in which we are enjoying the ride and feeling calm amidst the thrill, stress, and challenge?

 

1. Get grounded in the present moment.

Dr. Andrew Weil discusses a great breathing technique taken from the yogic tradition. He describes it as the 4-7-8 method. I love it because you can do in a meeting, while playing with your kids, or in an important conversation.   It is so simple and doable.

• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
• Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
• Hold your breath for a count of seven.
• Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
• This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

 

2. Open the door.

This step is about being willingn to imagine new possibilities. This is a difficult thing to do when we are accustomed to doing something a particular way a.k.a. habits. What it takes for this step to be successful is non-judgment. Put away your inner critic, the editor, the nasty voice on your shoulder that inhibits you and allow yourself a block of time to answer the question:

 
What would your life look like if you were living for NOW?

Brainstorm a list and write it down of ways that you could help yourself live in the present more fully. Try not to cross anything out; just let it be. If you need to take a couple days in order to be open to the possibilities. In this stage, all that is necessary is openness and wonder.

 

3. Take a step

Now, it is time to summon your courage up! Take a look at the list you created. Circle the top three ideas that speak to you as ways that will most help you embrace your life at this very moment. Look at the three ideas you have circled. Which one feels the most possible and energizing to do? Start with that one. So often, we discourage ourselves by taking the hardest task first. No way! Go for the one that feels the best!

Once you have the step you need to take laid out before you. Create a second list numbered 1,2,3. We are breaking that first step down even further. What are three steps you plan to take in order for that original goal to get accomplished? Complete this list and write a goal date to check in with yourself to see how your new outlook is going.

When you feel ready, tackle the second idea you circled. Keep it up until you are aware of a shift in your outlook.

4. Celebrate!

Making changes to our lives and our selves is really hard work. It takes a lot of
dedication and drive. That is why it is very important to celebrate what steps we do take! After you have your list and have begun work on it, come up with one very special way to treat yourself. You deserve it!

 

  Remembering that all these hurdles are a apart of what life is about can help us to relax a little in our anticipation of the struggles being over. By allowing ourselves to focus on the current moment, we are able to be more open to what lessons or ideas can be gained from each experience.  In doing so, the ride becomes much more enjoyable and we can keep our eyes open to what is before us.

Comments

[Tom Volkar / Delightful Work]

Hi Katie, that's an excellent realization. The now can be tricky except when we remember to be there and then it's so simple. You've presented an effective list of transitional steps. We can never go wrong by beginning with grounding and ending in celebration!