Life Renovations

Going Beyond

    Last week, while on a date at one of our favorite local cafes, Frontier, I read their sign, "Come in...Go Beyond."  Wow.  I have been there many times, but this time the words seemed to jump out at me.  It got me thinking.  What does it mean to GO BEYOND?   Really. And where is beyond, anyway?  I carried one of their postcards home with me and have been staring at it for days. 

    Then, tonight, it hit me.  GO BEYOND our self-imposed limitations.  GO BEYOND the demarcation lines set by our fears.  GO BEYOND what we once perceived to be possible.  What would life be like if we lived this way without fears and pre-conceived notions deciding our life's path?  It is a powerful and liberating concept.  Chances are if you are taking the time to read this blog, then you care about your values and strive to life your life by them.  Yet, fears can be overwhelming and convincing.    Our fears can do such a good job at being overwhelming and convincing that they make us feel that living by our values is not a safe, smart, or possible choice. 

    How can we bridge this seeming gap of wanting to live our lives guided by our values with struggling with the fears that are holding us back from our intention of going beyond?

Step ONE: It is important to connect with what our strongest values are.  I like to have clients make a list of what it is that is really the MOST valuable in their lives.  Is it family, humor, independence, honesty, security, joy, power, etc?  By connecting with what makes us feel "right",we are better able to make decisions that are aligned in this direction.  My clients find that by writing their values down they are better able to think about them when fear strikes.  And friends, fear almost always strikes when you are trying to get rid of it-that is how you know you are close to going beyond.

Step TWO: Create an image, a very specific image of what would be your ideal outcome in your situation.  The more specific ideal image you can create the better.  While the actual vision may change by the time you get there, it is still important to create a clear image.  When we are vague in our aspirations, so are our results.  Remember IDEAL means IDEAL not what you think is reasonable, feasible, or realistic.  Let your intuition be the guide and DREAM big.

Step THREE:  Nike's advertisements say it  best, "JUST DO IT."  Okay, you probably want to kick me for saying that and maybe are thinking, "If I knew how to do it, I would just do it."  I understand this struggle and that is why people hire me.  However, one way that you can empower yourself RIGHT NOW is to simply begin to do it-today, tomorrow, the next day and so on.  Every day take a SMALL action step heading in the direction you want to go.  Once you have established your ideal vision/goal, don't worry about it.  Just take it one SMALL step at a time.  Often we block ourselves by keeping an overwhelmingly big picture in mind.  Just keep taking these SMALL steps.  If you get distracted, don't fret.  Just get back on track and keep doing small actions related to your goal.  Too often we sabotage ourselves by saying that are step wasn't big enough or right enough-shush that voice and just take A step!  Over time, these small steps become habits which is crucial.  Once something becomes a habit, much of the effort and hard work has been established.  By taking small action steps regularly, you will feel excited by the success and keep going and going.

So, where is YOUR beyond?  How will it feel to you when you get there?  How can you bring that energy into your life right now?  Whatever it is go for it!  So the plan is: Establish your values and intuitive sense about the vision, create a specific picture of what it is you want, and then take small action steps every day without self judgment. 

Remember you are the fabulous designer of your own life!

Making it happen

    You know the drill...cue the resolutions.  It is almost as if we enjoy making promises we will not keep.  Or it is as if we allow ourselves to follow through on our promises to everyone else, but when it comes to making a hearty commitment to ourselves we drop the big New Year's Red Ball.  What can we do to change the course of these actions?

    Some ideas I've had:

1.)    Make manageable goals because success breeds success.   Too often we make goals that daunt us before the ink is even dry.  A goal should leave you feeling excited, hopeful, and ready.  If you feel otherwise, go back to the drawing board and ask yourself what is the first step you need to take in order to make that dream a reality.  That is your first goal.  Once you achieve that one...set a new horizon.    

2.) Remember that who you are today is not who you will be at the end of 2008.  So while you want to keep your head up for future vision and possibility, start with today's  need and intuition.  Sit with yourself and ask, "What is the change I most want/need to make in my life right now?

3.)   Give yourself a pat on the back.  To which you might say, "What? Before I have done anything?"  Yes,  be nice to yourself.  Often, our negative self talk acts as a tall barrier against accomplishing our goals.  It sure is hard to do something "right" when you have a harsh critic breathing down your neck.  Tell yourself, "GREAT WORK" just for being bold enough to state your intentions.  This doesn't get you off the hook of doing the work...it just gives you enough confidence to keep from jumping off of it.

4.) Remember my last post?  Before all other goals, I recommend connecting with your breath a.k.a BREATHING.  This very simple act will make space in your mind and body to follow through on the goals you have set before you.  Our breath grounds us in the present moment and we can only take action from this very moment.

Be well, be true, and be merry. 
This is your one and only life.  Make  it your best life.