Life Renovations

Being merry

   During the holiday season, there is a strong temptation to push ourselves harder, to make everything "perfect", to impress friends and family, or to have said or unsaid expectations for the experience.  The holiday season is a perfect time to begin to re-envision how we are trying to live our lives.  It strikes me as poignant that so many people struggle with depression or depressed feelings this time of year.  How can it be that a holiday filled with so much love and caring can bring about such misery?
   I think it is because we are trying to be somewhere we are not or wishing for things we do not have.   We are off-center from ourselves by trying to "achieve" or "produce".  Our grand act of  being is lost in the pursuit of seasonal cheer.  What would it be like if we faced the family's visit with the relaxed atmosphere of  a vacation or decorated the house with the joy we have on a Saturday with no plans, gave gifts from a  place of sincerity, desire, and inspiration?
    HOW do we make the change to live that way during such a demanding time of year?  Here are a few ideas:

•    make time for a centering ritual to maintain during the season.  Even if you only have 5 minutes to sit still...it is worth it.  Or if you feel you don't have 5 minutes, then take time during your drive to work or the shopping mall to remind yourself to BREATHE.  Yes, in and out for five minutes.  That simple act is much harder than we think because we are so accustomed to taking it for granted.  By taking time to recognize your breath, you are acknowledging your presence in this moment-not the one that has passed or the one you are about to live...but the now moment
• create a gratitude ritual.  One idea I like is to place a bowl in a central part of your home.  As the holiday season begins, each member of the family or you can do it alone jots down what they are grateful for whenever they think of it.  Keep a small pad and paper right by the bowl.  Remember that gratitude does not have to be some big accomplishment or event.  Sometime the simplest gratitude has the most long lasting effects.  Then, at a holiday celebration read what people have been adding to the bowl.  Gratitude is an immensely powerful centering tool.  It is hard to feel disappointed, inadequate, or lacking when you are expressing gratitude for some element of your life.
• Write down affirmations of HOW you want to be living (they can be holiday specific or not) and post them everywhere.  Affirmations in whatever form can be a powerful way to change our habits and behaviors.  There are many stories of people that created positive affirmations for themselves and consequently experienced life altering changes for the better.

     So take the holiday challenge, the challenge to be truly joyful, centered, and free of expectations this holiday season.  Start now and let new patterns form that will benefit it you throughout the year. 

How it all began...

Why the name "Life Renovations"?   That's an easy one.

         Four years ago, my husband and I bought an old colonial house near the river in a coastal
Maine town.  A fixer-upper.  A term that still has me in awe and slight bewilderment four years later. No one tells you that the "fixing up" process has just as much to do with "tearing down"  as it does with the building and fixing. 

          One must tear down expectations of time, design, and ability.  One must be comfortable with change and the unexpected.  One must be prepared to challenge one's own vision for what was to happen for the actuality of what is happening.   One must be willing to completely give up in order to completely succeed.
         So, we bought a fixer upper and tore apart our life.  And in tearing apart our life, we built a better vision for our present lives than I could have seen before.  We did not simply "fix up" this house or our life, but we created a new home and additionally, we created a new vision for our life.   In fixing the house up to the dream we envisioned, we had to tear down our expectations and  re-create our vision from a new, centered, stripped down place. How valuable and incredible! 

        And at times challenging. This blog is meant to explore these ideas about transforming challenges into opportunities for growth through the metaphor of "renovating" our lives.   I hope you come back and enjoy the process as this blog develops.